Thinking about killing myself
by littlemissemma
Summary: So, for now, he whispered to her about stories from earlier in her career with him, and pretended for a moment she could hear him. A single tear made its way down his cheek as he retold her the story of her interview. He told her that he wasn't ready to release his hold on her yet, and so, logically, she couldn't die. She had to survive, he told her over and over. ((HAMERON))


**Hey guys, thanks for reading this story. This is a touchy subject, and also sad. But it ends happily. If you get triggered by things such as this, please don't read. Leave a review and tell me what you think. I know in the show Cameron wouldn't, probably anyways, do this.**

 **Oh well, it's all my imagination anyways.**

Camerons lip quivered as she shakily held the bottle of pills in her hand. She knew she was thinking irrationally, and also knew that her mental state had much to do with that. Tears dripped down her face, she sat on her cold bathroom tile. She stifled a sob, and opened the bottle. She heard a noise outside of her house, and wearily looked at her bathroom door. She knew what she was about to do, and didn't have any second thoughts. She pulled out a piece of paper and wrote down in her perfect handwriting her last words.

/

House was debating whether or not to knock on her door. Her car was there, so he knew she was there. But still, he didn't know why he was having second thoughts. He sighed and knocked on her door with his cane. No noise came from her house, and that made him curious. He gingerly opened the door.

"Cameron," he called out. He saw her bathroom door opened and peeked in. He knew as soon as he saw her lying on the floor, her eyes looking at him but not really seeing, what had happened. His suspicions were only confirmed when he saw the empty bottle of pills lying next to her. He flipped open his phone and dialed 911. Until they got there, there was nothing he could do. She would be okay for at least another ten minutes, and he hoped they got here sooner. He saw the note in her fragile hands. He took it and opened it, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself.

He sat down and laid her head in his lap.

 ** _To whoever finds this first_**

 _I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough, or didn't have enough motivation to continue on, I'm sorry if I put you all through hell.._

 _im sorry to Chase and to Foreman and to Cuddy and Wilson and House and just- EVERYONE._

 _I didnt know what else to do. I want thinking clearly, and I made a stupid decision. But it doesn't matter now, does it?_

 _I hope no one is sad. Carry on the way you should._

 _the way_ _I_ _want you to._

 _Please be strong and try and only remember happiness. I don't want to be thought of as the girl who killed herself._

 _I want to be thought of as Dr. Allison Cameron._

 _I hope you understand that..._

 _To Chase and Foreman: You guys, I love you. You guys are my family, and I'm so sorry... I should have told someone.. I'm a doctor.. I should know these things. But I also know I don't know what els to do..._

 _To Cuddy and Wilson: Thank you both for being there for me.. it really made a difference in my life._

 _And finally, to House: Working for you was the best thing I've ever chosen to do. You challenged me and heightened my skills to a level I didn't know they could go, and I'm happy about that. You are a sarcastic son of a bitch, but maybe that's why I love you.._

 _Thank you all so much,_

 _Goodbye_

 _~Cameron~_

House felt himself tearing up by the end of her note. He stroked her silky blonde hair and strongly wished for her to be okay.

If she was, he was going to be nicer to her. He was so upset. No, he was _distraught._ He didn't know what to do, and he hated feeling helpless. So, for now, he whispered to her about stories from earlier in her career with him, and pretended for a moment she could hear him. A single tear made its way down his cheek as he retold her the story of her interview. He told her that he wasn't ready to release his hold on her yet, and so, logically, she couldn't die. She had to survive, he told her over and over.

"If you wake up, we'll redo that date of ours. It'll be right this time.." he whispered to her. He heard the EMTs rush in with a stretcher. They hooked her up to an I.v. And rode away to the hospital, with house holding her clammy hand the entire way. As they walked in, they saw similar shock on everyone's faces.

"What happened?" Chase.

"is that Cameron?" Foreman asked.

"She tried to kill herself," House told them quietly, handing them the note. As Chase read it, his eyes went wide. For once in his life, he was speechless. Nobody knew what to say, they just all stood in her hospital room in silence.

After a few hours of endless torment for house, everyone went home. Except him.

He sat with her, holding her hand, until he fell asleep.

He woke up when beeping on the heart monitor picked up slightly. His eyes snapped open, and he looked at her. Her finger twitched, and she groggily opened her eyes. She sleepily looked down st her hand in his.

"What did I miss?" Her mumbled question came. House had never felt as relieved as he did then.

"Oh, you know, the usual," She smiled at him with a look in her eyes that asked a question.

 _What did I do?_

 **Originally this was going to be a one shot. Review if you think I should do another part.**


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